Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
