Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
