Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Someone signed my nipple.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
