i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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