singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
