Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
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