there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
