he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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