So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Randomize
