I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I'm experimenting with sincerity
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
