Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I want to be your penis for a week.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
that may or may not have been my penis.
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