No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Randomize
