my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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