I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Randomize
