I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
