hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.�
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
