I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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