Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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