You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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