Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
