lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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