i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Randomize
