I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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