so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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