Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Randomize
