How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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