party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
