Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
