oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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