I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
