i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Randomize
