So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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