What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
