Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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