I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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