He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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