Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night�
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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