he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Randomize
