Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Randomize
