My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
