so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
