i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
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