i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
try to milk me bitch
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
