She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Randomize
