i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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