Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Randomize
