my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
So squirting runs in the family.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Randomize
