Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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