Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
you traded sex for a burrito?
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
