Small penises have feelings too.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
